Well, I can’t
believe the change of events within the past few days. Last week this time I was longing for my life
when I was in Korea. I missed my friends and the independence (on so many
levels) that I enjoyed there. I even considered going back...
Now, I'm counting down the hours till Monday when I begin (proper) work for the first time in South Africa!
I have been
engrossed in a very special book called “The Gratitude Effect” by Dr John Demartini. He
speaks about the power of expressing thanks for absolutely everything around
us, including the situations we find ourselves in which aren’t
necessarily in our favour. For friends
who know me and who read my blog, you will know that I have been doing “Thankful
Thursday” since I was in Korea. Everyday – before midnight – I would list 5-10
things I was grateful for that day. I then turned that into a weekly thing, but
sadly, it fell away when I came back to South Africa.
As I’ve
written before, the last few months were quite difficult for me as I have been
looking for a job. Honestly speaking, there was little that I could find to be
grateful for. I was feeling fed up with life and people. I couldn’t
comprehend why the Universe was ignoring me.
Reading “The
Gratitude Effect” felt like it was a wake-up call for me. I decided
that I needed to find blessings in everything I was doing and situations I
found myself in. I didn’t think it would be easy, but I had to give it a
shot. Almost as if it was a switch, I turned my thinking around and decided to
say “Thank You” to absolutely everyone in my life. My list ranged
from Higher Powers... the Universe, my parents, my brother, my aunts, uncles,
cousins, teachers, friends, security guards, shopkeepers, cashiers, parking
attendants, past employers, colleagues, students. And then, the hardest of them
all – thank you to everyone who has rejected my job applications. Heaven’s
knows, I have responded to dozens of job postings, made numerous phone
calls...with no joy.
There were days
where I didn’t see the need to get out of bed. The sun would be
shining through my blinds, but I woudn’t be able to see or appreciate it. I didn’t want
to face anyone and I felt like I was becoming somewhat of recluse. I didn’t want
to attend any social gatherings where people were going to ask me, “Have
you found a job yet?”
The sense of
despair and rejection I felt was heartbreaking and no one will really be able
to understand the deapth of this pain. It felt like I was being told that I’m not
good enough. Apart from the support of my parents, I felt like I was just not
getting the validation that I needed.
When I woke up on
Monday morning, I saw the sunshine and said “Thank You” for
the beautiful day. I was not going to spend the day moping at home so I got
dressed up and took a walk in my area. I walked into various shops and met a
number of interesting people. It was one of those days where everything seemed
to be going just right. Also, people I had been waiting to hear from were
sending me e-mails!
Another miracle
happened on Wednesday.
I went to the V
& A Waterfront with my netbook. I thought I would get some writing done at
a coffee shop overlooking the mountain and harbour. What better inspiration
could I possibly ask for? When I arrived, I took a short walk and I found a
bench near the harbour boat tours. One was leaving in 5 minutes. It was a
gorgeous day and I was there...so why not? It was just a 30 minute ride around
the harbour and then I went to a coffee shop where I decided to sit and write.
About 3 hours
passed and I got so much done. Earlier that morning, I sent in a job
application for an internship position at a company I have been itching to crack
into. I decided to call the number of the person who I sent my application to.
Just to make some kind of contact other than via e-mail. She was so kind and
friendly and she encouraged me not to give up on my quest for getting in. As it
turns out, she is is the assistant to the person who sifts through the applications
and who I spoke to a couple of months earlier (and who was very rude to me on
the phone).
I left the
Waterfront feeling really satisfied about the day and that I managed to get a
lot of writing done. Soon after arriving at home, I got a call from someone who
happened to have been given my CV. She said that she would like to offer me a
temporary job for two months. While it is not editorial, she would like to know
if I’m interested in it at all. My heart was racing. She asked that I go in the
following day to chat more about the position.
When I hung up
the call, I sat on my couch for about 10 seconds trying to absorb the miracles
that were unfolding in my life.
I went in for the
interview on Thursday and was asked to think about the position overnight and
to call in Friday notifying them if I accept or not.
After much
thought and weighing my pros and cons, I called her on Friday morning.
“What have you been thinking?” she asked.
“I’ve been thinking...that I’d like to see you on
Monday morning,” I said.
And just like
that, I accepted the job offer.
Today was a bit
of a milestone for me as I drove into the city centre alone for the first time (not
by getting lost this time!) to sort out my parking for the duration of my work.
I was so lucky to deal with a very nice person and was also very grateful to a
friend who told me about this parking garage.
I haven’t felt
this happy and at peace in a long time and as my godmother said to me, “The
light is shining for you at the end of the tunnel.”
I’m very grateful to the lady who called me on Wednesday afternoon and for
her giving me my first break at my first proper job in South Africa.
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